"Well, I'd like to keep trying. To give you more orgasms. And me too, of course."

Scarlet happened to notice the time on the clock on the wall. "Honey, we have to stop now!"

"But why, baby, my dick's still hard."

"I know, but the trade has been completed. You are now a member of the Red Sox! You have to get to the airport in an hour for your flight to Boston. You have to make it in time for the game against the Yankees tonight!"

"One more boink, baby, one more," he pleaded.

"Make it quick!"

He did.

* * *

Crusher hit three homers than night. And would have had more had he not been intentionally walked every other time at bat. He continued his torrid pace throughout the rest of the season. Every time Scarlet promised him he could get past third base and score multiple times if he led the Red Sox to victory, he did just that. The Red Sox did lose a few games when Scarlet rode the crimson wave. Even female superheroes have that curse.

* * *

"The Boss" became so distraught over the collapse of the Yankees, he sold the team. Boy George and Allistair Appleton joined forces with Elton John and the gay cartel known as the Brit Twits to purchase the Evil Empire. The first order of business was to change the name of the team to the New York Pansies. The shortstop and third baseman complained about wearing dresses at first but relented whey they found out the "Who's Your Daddy?" video the players made would get them more money than baseball ever did. The video is available at

* * * 

Soon after the Red Sox won the World Series, Captain America contacted Scarlet.

"I have a new assignment for you, Scarlet. Jesus called from up there in heaven. You know He's a big Steelers fan."

"Yes, so I heard. I suppose He wants me to drive Big Ben around in a limo so he doesn't ride that damn motorcycle."


"Sweet Jesus! Well, I guess Big Ben won't have to worry about his big head then. Just his little one. Female superheroes can drive and perform fellatio at the same time, you know. And we don't even need a hex for that."

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